When I was in my 20's, I was a HUGE fan of the series Sex and The City. I wanted to be Carrie Bradshaw. I wanted to move to New York City and write and have that wonderful life. Having your girlfriends around to go to breakfast and lunch and hang out, going to clubs and fashion show. The fabulous life!
I thought that I could have it all. I could have the career and also be the perfect wife and mommy. I envisioned mornings during the week being happy and full of sunshine. I never thought that it would be me pouring cereal and making M.'s lunch with F. on my hip screaming and drooling on my outfit for work. I tried to make it work. I prepped lunches for my husband and M. the night before, I planned dinners for the week, but they still were harried and rushed. I was working 8:30 -4:30, F. was in daycare and M. in all day Kindergarten. Daycare was a good place for F. He had fun interacting with other babies, but once he saw me, it was over. As soon as I walked in the house from work, there was screaming and crying from him. All he wanted to do was nurse and be held. M. would be telling me about his day in between me trying to get undressed from work, making dinner and peeling F. off of me. I did this for about 7 months and then hubby and I re-visted our finances and I took the plunge to become a "domestic engineer".
Being a stay at home mommy has been more work than I ever imagined. The cleaning and laundry and entertainment for the 1 year old "man of the house" during the day is exhausting! I have only have 2 children and have been staying home for about two months now. I feel that I am just now getting a rhythm down with my daily routine. My hat is off to parents of more than 2 children. Period! Whether they stay at home or work outside the home, kudos to you! It is so much work!
So, my dreams of moving to New York City and being fabulous, have been replaced by being the most fabulous Mommy at the bus stop and Parent Teacher Conferences. I try my hardest to not go out in yoga pants. I wear make up every day. I try to not sport the ponytail every day. :) It is tough, but it is so worth it. Being able to be home with my children is wonderful. Being home when my husband gets home from work is a great feeling. Ten years ago I never would have imagined that this is what I would be doing. It is not what I thought my future would look like at all, but I would not change a thing.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Kindergarten
As I write this, my son M., is about 8 weeks shy of completing Kindergarten. I cannot believe how fast time has gone. I also can tell you that every day that he gets on that school bus feels like the first day all over again. There is something about putting your child in the care of someone else that makes my Mommy instincts kick in gear. Every time the bus pulls away I want to run after it, jump on and grab M. and take him home with me. Crazy, right? You think I would be used to this by now. But, I am not.
As a parent you just want to keep your child safe from everything! Safe from being hurt, being picked on or teased. You also can only hope that your child is being appropriate and kind to others. I try and instill this in my boys every day. But in this world, you also want them to be wary and watch for danger. It is a fine line and super tough these days to be a kid. (and a parent!) You do not want your child growing up afraid but you need to teach them how to be safe as well.
M. and I have both done a lot of growing since last September. School has molded him into a better behaved child who understands about following rules and being polite to your teacher. Him being in school has allowed me to let go of him a little more. That is so hard to do. Especially because he is only 5 years old. In terms of a lifetime, that is SO young, yet he does quite well without me for those 8 hours that he is gone during the day. And he really loves school. He loves learning and reading. He loves interacting with children his age. He is making friends and he loves his teachers. Knowing that makes letting him get on that bus every day a bit easier. Also knowing that he is so happy to see me at the bus stop every day. He will tell me that he missed me during the day and as a good mom, I tell him he does not need to miss me. He should be focusing on his work and having fun at school. I do want him to enjoy school and all it has to offer. He has such a great future in front of him. All I can do is let him go so he can grab opportunities. But, I always know that he is my little boy. He still wants me to tuck him in every night. And I still check on him before I go to bed. I probably will until he moves out. That is just how it is.
As a parent you just want to keep your child safe from everything! Safe from being hurt, being picked on or teased. You also can only hope that your child is being appropriate and kind to others. I try and instill this in my boys every day. But in this world, you also want them to be wary and watch for danger. It is a fine line and super tough these days to be a kid. (and a parent!) You do not want your child growing up afraid but you need to teach them how to be safe as well.
M. and I have both done a lot of growing since last September. School has molded him into a better behaved child who understands about following rules and being polite to your teacher. Him being in school has allowed me to let go of him a little more. That is so hard to do. Especially because he is only 5 years old. In terms of a lifetime, that is SO young, yet he does quite well without me for those 8 hours that he is gone during the day. And he really loves school. He loves learning and reading. He loves interacting with children his age. He is making friends and he loves his teachers. Knowing that makes letting him get on that bus every day a bit easier. Also knowing that he is so happy to see me at the bus stop every day. He will tell me that he missed me during the day and as a good mom, I tell him he does not need to miss me. He should be focusing on his work and having fun at school. I do want him to enjoy school and all it has to offer. He has such a great future in front of him. All I can do is let him go so he can grab opportunities. But, I always know that he is my little boy. He still wants me to tuck him in every night. And I still check on him before I go to bed. I probably will until he moves out. That is just how it is.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Gussets, Aplix and Snappis! Oh my!
I cloth diaper my 1 year old son. I stumbled across cloth diapering while on Babycenter.com as I belonged to the Birth Boards throughout my pregnancy. They are fun to read and commiserate with other pregnant mamas. Anyway, someone had posted about cloth diapering. Now, when I think of cloth diapering, I picture this being done on a commune or sister wives being the only one's who do this. I was obviously wrong. The women who cloth diaper are from all different backgrounds yet they all spoke the same language. The language of gussets and compression leaks. They used acronyms like AIO, BGE and CD. ( I got that CD one after a few reads :) ) I had no idea what they were talking about, but I was hooked. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know why people cloth diapered and what the big deal was. Then, I stumbled across the Cloth Diaper Swap page and I quickly saw what the big deal was. The cutest, most adorable prints and colors. Pictures of babies wearing their "fluff". I was hooked.
Look at them! Aren't they beautiful?
(photo by Mooshinindy on Flickr)
So, I told my husband that I was going to start cloth diapering our baby. He is used to my outlandish ideas, so he just asked how much this would cost. Of course, I told him to think about all the money that we spend on disposables and how this is so much better for the planet and F.'s bum, as there are no chemicals in cloth diapers... He gave me the go ahead and told me it could be my thing. off to the swap I went! So many choices! Flats? Prefolds? Pockets? All-in-ones? I did a little research and decided to get some prefolds and covers and some pocket diapers. Well, there are so many to choose from! So many brands and so many patterns. It is really a bit overwhelming. A small amount of research went in to my choices and I purchased some used prefolds and two covers and a lot of 4 pocket diapers with inserts.
When the "fluff mail" came, I was ecstatic! Visions of my baby with a fluffy booty and me reducing our family's carbon footprint filled my head! After I figured out how to put the prefold on, thank you You-Tube, I popped the cover on and man! F.'s butt was huge! Like, I couldn't get his pants on over it huge. Thinking this could not be the way it is supposed to be, I put him down to change it. Perhaps I had the fold incorrect. Well, he only had the prefold on for about 10 minutes and when I removed the cover to re-do the diaper, It. Was. Soaked. Like, you could wring it out soaked. Ugh. Well, I put my smile on because this was life when you CD! Ok, let's try the pocket diaper. Got that on him. Oh so cute! Fast forward about an hour and I smell something. Really? We are just "trying" on the diapers and he has to poop in it?? My fantasy world of cloth diapers was slowly fading. It can't be that bad to change. Umm... WRONG!! Cloth and poop. Hmm.. not a good combination. Or perhaps TOO good of a combo as they were attracted to each other so well. (Let me add here that I do not have a diaper sprayer. As F. is our last baby, I wanted as little money invested in CD'ing as possible.) So, off to wash off the poopy diaper in the sink. That was gross. A bit too much for me. So, I began researching diaper liners. Flushable liners that hold the nasties off the diaper. Again, SOLD!
Since I have been a stay at home mom now since last month, I have been trying to CD regularly. Now, if we are going somewhere, I cheat with 'sposies. (disposables). And, I use 'sposies at night. I have also found that CD's must be changed at least every 2 hours. I have settled in with pocket diapers and they seem to be pretty trim on F. I am grateful that the weather is getting warmer, so we can show off the fluff as he can be without pants or shorts on. All in all, my little adventure in cloth diapering has been going pretty well. Cloth diapers can be very addicting to buy! As I have also come to find out. I stalk swaps and oogle the pretty prints and HTF (hard to find) dipes. But, I believe I am done buying.. for now!
Look how cute!
Look at them! Aren't they beautiful?
(photo by Mooshinindy on Flickr)
So, I told my husband that I was going to start cloth diapering our baby. He is used to my outlandish ideas, so he just asked how much this would cost. Of course, I told him to think about all the money that we spend on disposables and how this is so much better for the planet and F.'s bum, as there are no chemicals in cloth diapers... He gave me the go ahead and told me it could be my thing. off to the swap I went! So many choices! Flats? Prefolds? Pockets? All-in-ones? I did a little research and decided to get some prefolds and covers and some pocket diapers. Well, there are so many to choose from! So many brands and so many patterns. It is really a bit overwhelming. A small amount of research went in to my choices and I purchased some used prefolds and two covers and a lot of 4 pocket diapers with inserts.
When the "fluff mail" came, I was ecstatic! Visions of my baby with a fluffy booty and me reducing our family's carbon footprint filled my head! After I figured out how to put the prefold on, thank you You-Tube, I popped the cover on and man! F.'s butt was huge! Like, I couldn't get his pants on over it huge. Thinking this could not be the way it is supposed to be, I put him down to change it. Perhaps I had the fold incorrect. Well, he only had the prefold on for about 10 minutes and when I removed the cover to re-do the diaper, It. Was. Soaked. Like, you could wring it out soaked. Ugh. Well, I put my smile on because this was life when you CD! Ok, let's try the pocket diaper. Got that on him. Oh so cute! Fast forward about an hour and I smell something. Really? We are just "trying" on the diapers and he has to poop in it?? My fantasy world of cloth diapers was slowly fading. It can't be that bad to change. Umm... WRONG!! Cloth and poop. Hmm.. not a good combination. Or perhaps TOO good of a combo as they were attracted to each other so well. (Let me add here that I do not have a diaper sprayer. As F. is our last baby, I wanted as little money invested in CD'ing as possible.) So, off to wash off the poopy diaper in the sink. That was gross. A bit too much for me. So, I began researching diaper liners. Flushable liners that hold the nasties off the diaper. Again, SOLD!
Since I have been a stay at home mom now since last month, I have been trying to CD regularly. Now, if we are going somewhere, I cheat with 'sposies. (disposables). And, I use 'sposies at night. I have also found that CD's must be changed at least every 2 hours. I have settled in with pocket diapers and they seem to be pretty trim on F. I am grateful that the weather is getting warmer, so we can show off the fluff as he can be without pants or shorts on. All in all, my little adventure in cloth diapering has been going pretty well. Cloth diapers can be very addicting to buy! As I have also come to find out. I stalk swaps and oogle the pretty prints and HTF (hard to find) dipes. But, I believe I am done buying.. for now!
Look how cute!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Intentions
With this blog, I hope to be able to write as often as I can based on how my day has gone with my adventures as a Mom. It would be nice to one day be able to glance back and see how far I have come. (Hopefully, there will be progress)
:)
Parenting in Real Life
Sometimes I think we as parents get caught up in what we think parenting "should" look like. You know, like what we have read in books and seen on the big screen in hundred of movies. Well, it isn't like that. At least, not in my world. I have two sons, M. is 5 years old and F. is 1. And there are very few times times that our days do not involve some sort of melt downs and temper tantrums. (They are mostly mine) But anyway, we as a society, are lead to believe that being a parent is an experience that involves hugs and kisses and running through fields and lovely trips to the market and sitting down to wonderfully prepared meals where everyone talks about how wonderful their days were. Well, I am here to tell you, that is a fallacy.
My days and nights are filled with some demanding little people. As a parent, you need to know where everything of every one else's is. It is sort of like constantly taking a test. If the answer is wrong, be prepared for some not so happy children. You also need to anticipate the needs of these little people. Now, I have worked for some pretty tough supervisors in the work force and I could appease them. But my 1 year old? There are times, I feel as though I have tried everything with him, but he is still not satisfied with my level of performance!
Parenting is hard, if you are doing it right. It is draining and exhaustive. It keeps you up at night wondering if you what you said to your child in a moment of exasperation will emotionally damage them. It is sad and heart breaking when your child tells you that someone was mean to them on the bus or called them a baby. It is also rewarding when your child tells you unprompted that you are the best Mommy in the world. Children can break your heart, make you cry, make you rethink everything you THOUGHT you knew. They can also allow you to feel a sense of protectiveness more fierce then you ever thought possible. A feeling of love stronger than you ever felt in your entire life. One cannot experience these emotional highs and lows until you are a parent. That makes the sleepness nights worth it.
And as far as running through the fields? There is very little running in my life. Unless I am wearing my Depends.
My days and nights are filled with some demanding little people. As a parent, you need to know where everything of every one else's is. It is sort of like constantly taking a test. If the answer is wrong, be prepared for some not so happy children. You also need to anticipate the needs of these little people. Now, I have worked for some pretty tough supervisors in the work force and I could appease them. But my 1 year old? There are times, I feel as though I have tried everything with him, but he is still not satisfied with my level of performance!
Parenting is hard, if you are doing it right. It is draining and exhaustive. It keeps you up at night wondering if you what you said to your child in a moment of exasperation will emotionally damage them. It is sad and heart breaking when your child tells you that someone was mean to them on the bus or called them a baby. It is also rewarding when your child tells you unprompted that you are the best Mommy in the world. Children can break your heart, make you cry, make you rethink everything you THOUGHT you knew. They can also allow you to feel a sense of protectiveness more fierce then you ever thought possible. A feeling of love stronger than you ever felt in your entire life. One cannot experience these emotional highs and lows until you are a parent. That makes the sleepness nights worth it.
And as far as running through the fields? There is very little running in my life. Unless I am wearing my Depends.
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